She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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