let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
