Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
