dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize