I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
