she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
