$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
