maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize