the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
