shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize