ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
