3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We left the knife in your bed.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
