God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
