Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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