Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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