we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
