I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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