i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
