On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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