We won't sleep together?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
