I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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