chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
