he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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