He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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