i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
