i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
