a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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