Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
