yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
