let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
