you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
