When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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