Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
