Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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