very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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