he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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