he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
