we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
