My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
