becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
