How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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