Taylor Swift is so right about you.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You can't special order awesome
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
