The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i believe in u and ur pee
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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