it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just pee around me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
