You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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