I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
