i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
