8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize