you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
