I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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