TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
