Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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