I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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