We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
