Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
