We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Randomize
