I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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