wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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