I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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