shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just want to make out with him forever
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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