Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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