Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
