I am in a vortex of obligation.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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