I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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